The Top 3 Things Keeping You From Achieving Your Goals This Year.

Since we are half way through this year, I thought I would ask the question, “How are those New  Years Resolutions coming along?” Remember that list you created on January 1^st, the one you pinned on your corkboard  underneath all of the “important stuff.” Or perhaps its buried so deep in your iphone notes that you’d have to scroll for days to even find it.

Like many people, I created a list of things I wanted to achieve this year: I wanted to publish my book (in progress), I wanted take a trip to France (scheduled for October), and I wanted to work on my “stuff” (ongoing, but I'm doing it).

Ah, stuff! We all have it, we all know it’s there, but for some reason, it always gets swept under the rug because there’s always something else to do. Fortunately, I have found a really cool way to deal with my stuff, and I wanted to introduce it to you in this way, because I think it is actually part of why you may not be achieving your goals, whether they are for New Years, yourself, or any other reason.

So, let’s break this down here. Honestly, if you haven’t achieved your goals then it’s probably because:

1.       You Didn’t Set Any Goals. If you live with the expectation that everything great idea that pops into your head will just manifest into reality without a plan, then I would love to talk to you because you are a total phenomenon!

2.       You Didn’t Create an Action Plan. Perhaps when you made your list you had several things you wanted to accomplish, and you thought that somehow you’d figure it out. Unfortunately, we don’t always have all the answers, and sometimes we may want things to happen and have no idea how to do it. So what happens? Naturally, we give up. Instead of finding someone who has achieved what we want and modeling their behavior, or doing research on how to accomplish your goal, you throw in the towel and call it quits. This concept actually leads right into the third thing keeping you from achieving your goals…

3.       You Can’t Get Our of Your Own Head! In my upcoming book, 30 Reasons You Didn't Get Hired, I go into specific detail on how this one thing keeps people from getting their dream jobs. One of the things I’ve been learning on my own journey is that our brain will strive to answer any question we think.  If you ask, “why can’t I lose weight?” Your brain will probably say “because your lazy!” Why? Probably because you’ve been telling yourself over and over again that you’re lazy. If you change the question , though to, “What can I do today to bring me closer to my goal of having a healthy lifestyle?” Your brain will probably think of 100 things you could do: go to the gym, make great food choices, stop eating when you’re full… see what I mean.

 

I’m going to deep dive into this one a little more because we all have automatic thoughts that are popping into our head all the time, and controlling them can seem akin to wrangling a toddler hyped up on sugar smacks. BUT, there is a tool I found that has been exceptionally effective in helping me manage my thoughts, called The Model, created by The Life Coach School founder, Brooke Castillo. I am inserting a photo of it here,

 

 

which is barely legible, I know, and is also messy (I KNOW) because one of my issues is getting over perfection, which is why I am comfortable sharing it with you here, instead of wasting 10 hours creating a beautiful one for just this article. But, I keep this at my desk as a handy resource for when the thoughts start taking up my energy.

 

Brooke has a great youtube video where she teaches the model, so please watch it if you’d like in-depth analysis on it, but here is the basic idea:

When you have a thought, consider the following:

 

C- Circumstance: What is the circumstance you are reacting to?

T-Thought: What is the thought I'm thinking about the circumstance?

F-Feeling: How do I feel when I think this thought?

A-Action: What is the action (or non-action) I take when I feel_____?

R-Result: What is the outcome I created with this (non) action?
 
If you are struggling to achieve your goals because of the thoughts you are telling yourself, then I absolutely encourage you to go through The Model with your thoughts to create a new result for yourself. If you're just starting then begin by getting clear on what you want, set a specific action plan, learn from others who've already achieved what you want, and keep your thoughts focused on the positive action that will propel you forward.

I hope that this content has given you some ideas on how to get back on track to achieving your goals. If so, I'd love to hear from you! Have a wonderful day everyone!

Before you pat Yourself on the Back...

 Before you pat yourself on the back, don’t forget this simple, but critical step.

You know those times in your career when things just seem to be going right? Maybe the project you worked so hard on is finally wrapped up, the presentation you spent weeks preparing for goes off without a hitch, the client you were wooing finally signs the contract, and the goals you set for your department are all achieved on the same day. You feel pride, you feel power, you feel like dancing on the ceiling, and in honor of your efforts everyone you know is going to give you a high-five and buy you a drink. Congratulations! But, before you go shooting off the top of a bottle of Cristal, do this one thing…

Write it down!

Before you eye roll and move onto the next article, just hear me out. Many people who are in the habit of setting and achieving goals are also in the habit of writing the goals down. Why? Because they understand that when you write something down, a lot of great things happen:

·         You acknowledge your desires,

·         You can break down large goals into achievable steps,

·         You motivate yourself to take action,

·         You generate ideas for other goals, and

·         You feel successful.

The list can go on and on, but the point is that there are a million reasons why you would want to write your goals down. Fewer people write about the aftermath, however, because once the goal has been achieved, then game over, right? Mission accomplished… sort of.

Following are a few (potentially) compelling reasons for why you will want to write down your goals after they are completed:

1.       It will remind you of your process.

 

Many times as we are going through the process of achieving goals we forget the challenges that have come along the way. For example, when a woman has a baby, the labor is difficult and painful, but as soon as they see their baby, they are overcome with so much joy that when they introduce their child to the world, they are beaming with pride, not complaining about all the sweating and pushing and screaming.

 

Or, think about a time when you lost weight and were finally able to zip up those pants that had been tucked away in the back of the closet. There were a lot of days that you said “no” to treats you wanted to eat because what you really wanted was the satisfaction of losing weight instead. When everyone compliments you on how fantastic you look, you don’t complain, “I gave up so many desserts… every day I skipped the whipped cream on my Pumpkin Spice latte...” No, people say “thank you” and move along.

But, you are probably wondering what giving birth and losing weight have to do with writing down your accomplishments? Well, sometimes when we make decisions, we neglect to write things down and forget some of the steps we took along the way. Sometimes it’s only after making the same mistake again that we are reminded of the error that could have been avoided had we documented the process.

This works for positive things as well. When looking at taking on a new task, if you look at the elements that contributed to your success, then you can also add those elements into the equation in the future.

2.       It will help to keep your accomplishments fresh in your mind.

 

While many people may think they can easily recall their accomplishments, consider for a moment if you have ever been in the following scenario. You get the notification that it is annual review time, and despite the fact that you’ve worked your tail off all year long, you sit at your desk, drumming your fingers, making a desperate attempt to recall what awesome projects you’ve worked on over the course of the year that would warrant recognition. Surely you’ve been busy. You work late all the time, you missed your kid’s soccer game (on more than one occasion), but for some reason you sit blankly, staring at the screen as if someone just asked you to write a dissertation on thermodynamics.

Or

You’re in an interview and the interviewer inquires, “Tell me about your major career accomplishments.” I have asked similar questions to interviewees and had candidates tell me they can’t think of any. I am typically looking at their resume, and can conceive a couple areas they could have achieved success, but the voice on the phone (or the face in person) is blank and offers nothing.

 

Being able to go back and review your accomplishments will also serve to provide you a bit of a boost in self esteem. Have you ever heard the phrase, “Success breeds success?” Its absolutely true, and when you take time to recall things that you’ve done well, then look over the list of things you have on your list of goals, the brain can actually use those positive recollections to fuel your desire for attacking the next task.

 

3.       It will set you apart from the competition.

 

If you think it’s hard for you to remember all of your projects, just think about your boss, who may have to sit down and do the exact same thing, only for every other person in your department as well. If you are able to articulate the specifics around each project your worked on, each success you achieve, each milestone accomplished, you will not only make your boss’s job easier, but you will be doing a lot more than your colleagues.  When it comes to annual review time, and you have a list of ways you’ve demonstrated you contribute, then you have taken another step in demonstrating that you are capable of high performance in other areas as well.

 

You don’t have to write a novel around each instance, but do something simple like write a page in your journal, write a blog about your experience, or even just forward yourself emails that you place in a recognition file. In my work email folders, I have one I call Success, and every time someone emails me a message related to my own exceptional performance, I file it in my Success folder. If I’m in a hurry, I will sometimes email it to myself with notes and then slide it into the folder. The point is that it doesn’t matter what format you use to keep track of your successes, just do it! You may be surprised how this small action can put your career into high gear.